That time of the year

It's that time of the year again, and by that I mean the end of it. Time to look back on 2010 before it slips through our fingers for good.

I went into 2010 with high spirits: 2009 had been good to me, so I assumed that the next couldn't be off by much. Well, it did start off quite well, with orientation being an absolute blast to have gone through, but that soon gave way to a harsher reality that would be the predominant atmosphere for the rest of the year. If I had to describe the year in one word, it would be "inadequacy". I started off the year pretty much already under scrutiny from everyone: fellow students, teachers, even the principal to a certain extent. I had to regain my footing after being thrown into the whole new world of SH2 while meeting their expectations as if nothing had changed from SH1, and it was all the more pressurising when all I could do was stumble around in the dark just like everyone else. More than ever, the thought that lingered continuously in my head was simply to fade back into obscurity, to be able to screw up without catching anyone's attention.

Still, it's during tough times like that when you really learn to cherish what you've got. I feel that I've gotten that much closer with my friends since last year, supporting each other through this truly trying year. All the stupid nonsense that we did together really helped make each day livable and even enjoyable. It was definitely a tough year, but I wouldn't change one bit of it if given the chance.

And this being my 18th year, I definitely felt the growing responsibilities that came with transitioning from an adolescent to an adult. When once I had my futures neatly planned out for me every step of the way, along the course of the year I increasingly had to take matters into my own hands. It's like I've become the captain of a ship I've boarded as a passenger for 18 years, and I've only just begun to comprehend the vastness of the ocean around me. This feeling of openness will definitely only grow stronger in future, a prospect which is both liberating and frightening to me. I still feel like I'm not ready to be an adult, but there's no option to defer life, and if there is one then I'm not aware of it.

I'm going into 2011 with memories, regrets, fears and hope

Elephants, barracudas, fleas and me

It's pretty ironic, really. Force someone to do the same thing over and over every day and he'll scream for freedom at the top of lungs, but once he actually gets his freedom he'll be too used to his daily routine to make any actual use of it. "Look at me, I could sign up for sky-diving lessons right now if I wanted to!", he yells triumphantly, as he continues to sit in front of the computer watching stupid youtube videos the whole day, just like how he has done so every day so far. And in case you didn't get the hint from this being my blog and this being me typing, "someone" here refers to me *dramatic plot twist gasp*

I'm really not getting the hang of the fact that there's absolutely nothing stopping me from going out of the house every day and having the time of my life doing anything that isn't illegal, so every day I end up going about my usual routine like nothing's changed. I guess this is pretty much like that story where you chain a baby elephant to a tree for so long that when it grows up it won't even attempt to budge as long as you tie a rope to it's foot and attach the other end to pretty much nothing. Well sometimes it's elephants and chains and sometimes it's barracudas and glass walls and sometimes it's fleas and jar lids, but the overarching idea of conditioning oneself to self-impose restrictions is, well, overarching (and so is the theme of animal suffering, but I don't think that's what the storytellers had in mind).

So going back on topic, the reason why I realised this is because a bunch of 28s came over to my house today to play Wii games and generally do stupid things, and they kept saying how they haven't seen me out in quite a long time, which I have to admit is pretty true. And sadly, with the internship starting soon it will mean even less of seeing friends and doing cool shit, but if being a "greater mind" is all that it's cracked up to be then I should have a blast at DSTA too, right?

Which brings me to the idea I've been pondering over, planted into my mind by you'en: maybe I could just stay over at the chalet anyway, then just wake up at 7am to get to DSTA on time. Of course, that would mean having to get a decent amount of actual sleep at the chalet, which would be a pretty tall order under normal circumstances, but nigh impossible seeing how it's a 09SH25/09SH27 combined chalet.

Also, a few days ago I decided, on a whim, to listen to The Dillinger Escape Plan's latest album released sometime this year, Option Paralysis. While I still dare not say that I'm a hardcore fan of TDEP, there's something about them in general and this album in particular, the unique mix of technicality and brutality, genius and chaos, that not only makes it sound like frightening noise, but frightening noise which is actually intriguing and addictive and enjoyable to listen to, and which sounds more and more like a masterpiece the more you listen to it. It's like Leonardo da Vinci superimposed all his most famous works on top of each other to form a blob of ink and colour and showed it to someone and he said "What's with this chaotic mess of sh-HOLY CRAP I SEE THE MONA LISA." And in case you were expecting me to embed a sample of TDEP's work below, I'm sorry to disappoint you for now because I really want to listen to them a few more times through before I decide which song to put down here.

If you're familiar with the game-reviewing comedic genius that is Zero Punctuation, it might be apparent to you that I've been watching a lot of his videos recently because my blogging is starting to seem slightly reminiscent of his style. Just need to sprinkle a few expletives here and there, change half of my full stops to exclamation marks and do away with commas entirely.

Apathy

The new year is in 3 days, and work will start soon after. Surprisingly I don't feel nervous right now, but then again I haven't exactly been doing anything these past few days so there isn't much of a trade-off anyway. Well, there is the class chalet that I'll unfortunately be missing a large part of, and the 90min commute from DSTA to NSRCC to join them for dinner for those three days doesn't sound very appealing either, but nonetheless I'm looking forward to it :) There're also the outings with OG10 and 4A, which up to this point are still unconfirmed, but it seems most likely that once again I'll have to join up with them later if they do come to fruition. And it might come as surprising for me to say this, but despite all the calendar clashes that have occurred because of it, I am looking forward to this internship. I really want to know more about what will (hopefully!) be my future employer, and about engineering in general. Plus I'm definitely not complaining about the $55 a day ( :D ), though I don't think I'll be spending it anytime soon, seeing how I'll very soon be going off for my all-expenses-paid island resort getaway.

I've given up trying to care about the whole university thing. Heck, I've got two more years to think about it, and no one else is even bothering, so why should I? Drifting along and doing nothing has always been my forte anyway. Does that make me lazy and underachieving? Probably, but I never denied any of that anyway. Seeing friends and acquaintances planning and mapping out their oh-so-bright futures while you're at home rotting away can get rather depressing at times, but mediocrity is something you get accustomed to eventually.

I know that there are so many things that I could and should be doing, but I just don't know what they are, and I've given up trying to find out.

What now?

I have a confessions to make: I haven't sent my DSTA scholarship acceptance form yet. After all, they didn't mention a specific date, though I have to imagine that I'm pushing "ASAP" a bit far. The reason, I'm afraid, is that I have no idea how to fill it up. I'm referring specifically to the part asking which universities I have applied to or am applying to, and application results for the former. Firstly, I still don't know which universities to choose. My mom has a preference for UK universities, though I question the validity of her reasoning ("When I think of US universities, I think of men with glib tongues and business suits."). Secondly, and more worryingly for myself, I have no idea when or how I should go about applying at the moment, if at all. Do I just let everything slide for the moment, or is there something I should be actively doing? My distress is twofold, because I'm afraid that I might miss a life-changing junction if I do nothing, and because I know that this should be something that I'm familiar with and it reminds me yet again of what a lousy student I am (at least admin-wise).

I have to say that I really regret not clarifying all this stuff back in NJ, and I miss having approachable teachers who will listen to my queries. I'm browsing through Brightsparks forums and university websites right now, but honestly I can't bring myself to believe anything until it's been backed up by a teacher.

Yes, I'm gonna say it: I miss school.

On a lighter note, I just learned today that the treadmill in my house displays distances in miles instead of kilometres, so my stamina hasn't dropped like a rock since post-NAPFA days :D And here I was panicking because I couldn't maintain a 12kph pace (which would give a 2.4km timing of 12min) when I was actually running at 12mph (which is a whopping 19.3kph O.O ). In hindsight I guess it was kind of a himbo moment for me, but I'm so used to being disappointed by my physical capabilities that I'll believe that I can't even finish half of a 2.4km run with a 12min pace.

To-do list:
Read up on universities and applications (maybe I'll make a trip back to NJ to ask the teachers one of these days)
Submit DSTA form ASAP (like, for realz, before they get pissed off :X )
Use the treadmill again (regained confidence w00t!!!)
Practise commuting to DSTA (don't want my phobia of missing bus stops to get the better of me on my first day of work. And yes, it's not enough to get directions there; I need to physically travel along the route or I'll seriously freak out)

And before I forget, this picture kind of struck a chord with me (and I'm not even a Christian). Is this the summary of modern Christmas?

 (I guess people without some background knowledge of the Bible won't get it)

Cracked snowglobe

OK, so I guess Christmas morning started off on a rather ugly note.

Random fact of the day about my life: my mom still sneaks into our (my brothers and I) bedroom on Christmas eve, puts presents on our beds and insists that it was Santa Claus, and we just humour her every year. This year, "Santa Claus" got me a hat, anticipating my lack of hair in the near future (hurr hurr -.-), my younger brother got a Zinc bag (I've never had one of those fancy schmancy Zinc bags :O ) and my youngest brother got a 15-book Road Dahl collection, which would have made me seriously happy when I was 12 (I've only read maybe half of the books in the collection). The problem (there's always a problem, isn't there, or there wouldn't be a point in this post) was that my brother didn't share my enthusiasm over the gift. Bluntly put, he was not happy at all with it. When my mom asked him about the gift, he forced a smile which obviously didn't fool her. During breakfast, she whispered to me "You know, Santa Claus told me that the book collection was the most expensive gift, over a hundred dollars."

The thing is, there were times in the past when the economy was shaky and all we would get was a packet of sweets or chocolates, so the books definitely weren't the "worst" present he ever got by a long shot, but he seemed to react more strongly to this year than before. Is it because he's become pampered with "cooler" presents the previous few years running up to this year? Was I like that when I was his age? Am I still like that now?

Well, maybe I'm reading too much into too little (happens quite frequently with me). He seems to be completely cool with it now, and has even started reading some of the books. Now about my own present, it's not that I don't appreciate the thought, but I don't think I can muster the self-confidence to wear a hat out in the public outside of a walk-in/prom setting. So yeah.. probably won't see me wearing it before I lose my hair. Sorry, Santa.

Going off on a tangent here, I think it must be kinda sad to have your birthday fall on a major holiday like Christmas. Everyone is probably too busy with their festive activities to make a big deal out of your birthday, and if your parents are cheapskates they'll probably try to weasel their way into giving you one present for two occasions (I can completely imagine my mom doing that, haha). Now that I think about it, my birthday is pretty close to Halloween. Maybe if I lived in a country where Halloween is a huge event every year, I would grow up to become a Jack Skellington-style goth kid XD

I have just gotten hold of the complete Tron: Legacy OST, and I have to say that Daft Punk are absolutely amazing. I'm sure the Twitterverse is tired of hearing me say this, but they are seriously talented to be able to create such beautiful blends between orchestral and electronic music that not only doesn't sound forced, but perfectly complements the movie. I sat down to listen to the album and decide which songs to transfer to my MP3, until I realised that I just had to transfer the entire album over. Here's but a small taste:


It starts of purely with strings, and when they introduce the electronic parts it doesn't jar with the music, but rather creates a "digital" atmosphere for it. See now why it's perfect for the movie?

Holy crap, 2011 is only a week away.

Christmas-y thoughts

Idealism is something that gets laughed at a lot after you reach a certain age. As Christmas comes just around the corner and you see Christmas specials of old cartoons playing on TV, the corny dialogue about the joys of giving and sharing can give goosebumps or excessive eye-rolling syndrome to anyone above the age of 10.

Must it be that we lose our faith in simple innocent goodwill as we age? Is this really what maturity means - a disillusionment of our view of the world? Taking of our rose-tinted glasses?

Or maybe it means just the opposite. Maybe it means being able to see the sparkling hints of good around us even without the rose-tinted glasses.  Maybe it means acknowledging that our world is far from idealistic and perfect, but despite all that there is still some genuine good in the world worth cherishing and spreading.

There comes a point in time when every parent will have to look their child in the eye and admit that Santa Claus doesn't exist, but what many people fail to add on is that although magical reindeer-rearing, North Pole-residing Santa Claus doesn't exist, there was once a certain St. Nicholas who gave presents to the children in his town once a year, and whose charity was commemorated as the legend of Santa Claus. Maybe that way, the first thing that will come to the children's minds will be to respect the spirit of giving, and not "So nobody got my letter about my Xbox 360 Kinect set?"

Christmas-themed song! :D


Merry Christmas everyone :)

Not now

Can't stop thinking about it. Literally, when I have nothing else to think about, it comes to mind on its own. It's trying to persuade me to take action. Maybe it's the body, maybe it's the mind, maybe it's both. What I do know for sure is that its cries are getting harder to ignore, and that it pays no heed to reason or circumstance.

Not now, not for a while. Perhaps not ever, but hopefully not.

It's all just a matter of finding good distractions. Of course, it would probably help too if I spent my 2.45am nights sleeping instead of being awake and susceptible to sudden attacks of introspection.

Enter The Grid

I watched Tron: Legacy in 3D today (random note: the GV 3D glasses are quite bulky and uncomfortable compared to the Cathay ones, just sayin'), but before I go into my thoughts about the movie, I want to talk a bit first about the general critical reception for the movie.

When I first went on Wikipedia to look up the movie and saw that reviews were "mixed", I just thought that one or two people couldn't make up their minds about it. When I went to search individual reviews on Google, I saw a very clear divide between two camps, one trashing the movie with 20-30% and the other praising it with 70-80%. Depending on who you asked, the plot was either decent enough or non-existent; Jeff Bridges, Olivia Wilde and Micheal Sheen either portrayed their roles convincingly or horribly; the faithfully adhered-to neon-lines-on-black design style is either mesmerising and beautiful or repetitive and dull. It's no wonder the average rating for this movie is around 50%. I've never seen such a divided opinion on a single movie before.

Personally speaking, I thought it was great. People who complain that Tron's visual style is dull compared to Avatar's lush tropical landscape have got it all wrong - while Pandora boasted vibrant colours which emphasised its inherent chaos, The Grid was created to be a digital, logical world ruled by an iron fist, hence the sleek glossy neon lines and the dark background with gloomy skies. And while I'm no Oscar judge, I have to say that personally I found the acting to be good enough. Finally, I enjoyed the plot quite a bit, to be honest. Of course there weren't any amazing game-changing plot twists, but for an action movie it serves its role pretty well. And when you walk out of the cinema and think back, you realise that there are actually some questions to ponder over, even if the movie didn't have time to elaborate on them amidst all the amazing CGI parading.

Also, the music is all from Daft Punk, and who can hate on them? One universal fact agreed upon by all the reviewers (and myself) is that the music played an integral role in enhancing the movie. The techno elements blend in so well with the orchestra that you'd think that this was classical music from The Grid, which of course is the whole point of it. This is one of the extremely rare times when a movie's soundtrack is so greatly lauded (discounting musicals of course). And now, I can't stop listening to this song:



Here's a couple of pictures too, to make this post even more multimedia:

Look at them, they were practically made for The Grid.

Yeah, cos she looks amazing in the movie.

The iconic light cycle. I love how the rider's body fits seamlessly with the bike.

The light jet looks simply amazing.

As a sort of closing statement, the original Tron was also frequently criticised for having amazing graphics but a weak plot, and went on to become a cult classic, so who knows what will happen to its sequel?

There is only one step

I'm about to use my poetic license of owning this blog to not make sense (you have been warned).

I'm in that kind of mood right now where the slightest oddity is hilarious. Which is why right now I find this the funniest thing in the world:

Also, I have discovered QWOP, often billed as the most difficult game ever created. And after spending a ridiculous amount of time on it (and consequently wasting a good part of my life away):

I would like to point out that above and beyond my 'O' levels, promos and scholarship application success, this is the crowning achievement of my life. Yes, the fact that after about two hours of figuring how to hop on one knee to the finish line I managed to become a national hero overshadows all that, and probably anything else I might accomplish in the future. This is the peak of my life.

Also, here's another game I discovered called Robot Unicorn Attack (it's also available on Facebook by the way). It's so absurdly feminine (read: GAY), and yet crazily addictive that I can't stop laughing whenever I play it (and then I can't stop playing it). And it has the awesomest soundtrack EVAR:

AND WE'LL LIVE IN HARMONY HARMONY OH LOVE

Old man

Yes, that is what I am: an old man. At least, that's what I felt I was after going for the hockey friendly. The sore thighs and calves, the aching of that muscle that runs across the palm; yup, it's definitely hockey again. And with my swollen knee fresh from the pitch, I now walk like an old man too -.- But in spite of all of that, I must say that it was fun finally getting back on the pitch again :) I'll probably try to go at least one more time after my knee heals and before my internship starts.

And I'm finally posting a song again! Not my usual genre (so all you metal-haters can remove your earplugs now >.> ) It's a techno remix of Still Alive, that ingenious theme song for Portal with the darkest of dark humour interwoven cleverly in its lyrics, and it's just pretty darn catchy in my opinion:


I STILL DON'T HAVE MY IC BACK

Plans

Finally went out of the house and did something today. Went for LAN with a bunch of 25s plus chin to celebrate panyu's birthday. As usual, I was completely pwned (don't even know why I bother trying, really. I guess for me it's all about the company), and to top things off the LAN shop owner accidentally gave my IC to another person -.- They'll contact me when the other person goes back to the shop to switch his IC, but the thought of having to make a trip all the way to dhoby gaut  just to get back one plastic card seriously irritates me. I am officially put off playing LAN, at least for the next few days or so.

So it turns out that as a DSTA scholarship applicant, I have been automatically offered an internship with them, which kind of assuages some of my thoughts and worries from before. It starts from 3rd January and pays $55 a day, but because I'm enlisting in early February I can't experience the full internship all the way to March, which means I'm missing out on a month's worth of salary and experience (and SALARY!!!), but I guess it can't be helped. Short internship is better than no internship, right?

After nearly a year without hockey, I'm going onto the pitch tomorrow to join the juniors for a friendly. Frankly, I'm pretty afraid that I'm gonna screw up terribly due the rustiness of my skills and physique (and also my lack of those things to begin with), but it's my duty as a senior to help them out whenever I can, especially seeing how I more or less abandoned them during the school year due to my H3s.

I should get out of the house more often. After all, I only have less than two months left to spend.

I still have no clue about university admissions.

I WANT MY IC BACK.

I am sinking into incoherence. It is a sign that I should sleep now.

No path

Still wandering aimlessly. Do the university applications start before, during or after NS? Do I accept the scholarship now or later? Do I try for more or settle with what I've got? Or do I just leave everything for another day?

Yes, I do like that last idea very much.

I really, really, really really really cannot find any motivation whatsoever to start working out again. Not that my mom fails to remind me every few minutes that I shouldn't be enjoying the holiday at the end of the roughest two years of education I've had so far.

There is no path; there is no crossroads; there is only empty space as far as the eye can see.

Steps towards a future

OK, I'm back from Penang, and the trip turned out to be quite a bit more enjoyable then I initially predicted it to be :) Most of the credit for that belongs to our tour guide, who managed to be approachable, informative and entertaining all at once. it's true, that Chinese saying "行行出状元": he's most definitely the best tour guide I've ever been under. Goes to show the wonders that 13 years of experience can do for you, doesn't it? Maybe this academic rat race of ours isn't the only way to go.

So anyway, more about the trip. Mostly it was about touring the cultural attractions of Penang such as religious and heritage sites. Because they were all half-day tours, in the spare time the tour group would go looking for hawker centers to sample local cuisine, so it was much like a culinary trail too. Oh, and for some inexplicable reason I was rather lethargic for most of the trip, so I was sleeping in between all of that. So basically, the trip can be summarised as temples, food and sleep. I know I sound kind of bitter right now, and I don't know how to explain this, but it genuinely was still pretty enjoyable :)

When I came back home from the airport, my sixth sense told me to check my mailbox before going into the house, and... DSTA finally replied!!! :D I had more or less lost hope already because they said that it would take a month at most to reply, and that was in October, but in any case I now have a provisional scholarship!

But even though I know that I'm really lucky to get this, I need to ask myself if I want to just accept this readily or see if I can get any other provisional offers, because DSTA has a $1000 penalty for refusing a scholarship after accepting the provisional offer. Of course my parents are willing to pay the fine if worse comes to worse, but still money doesn't grow on freakin' trees. And of course, there's also the matter of where I want to enroll. Japan and Germany are definitely out of the question because I'm definitely not a multi-linguist (just look at my Chinese grades), so that leaves a collection of universities in Singapore, the US and UK. Why am I even talking about all this now, when I still don't have a clue how I'm supposed to go about applying anyway? I kinda feel guilty now because I have friends who have made sure to take steps towards securing a better academic future while I, for the most part, have been doing little more than drifting about and waiting for stuff to happen. I guess if you look at it this way, I sort of deserve to not do as well academically? I don't really know what to think, but I do know that I want to change all this. i need to take steps towards a future. I need to.

Underwhelming

OK, so more about the BBQ yesterday. It was at victor's house and it was the standard fare of fried rice, hotdogs and chickens. Of course, most of it was undercooked or overcooked (note to self: ensure that at least one person at every BBQ actually knows fully what he's doing). And of course, it eventually degenerated into a pyromania session. Everything from matches and firestarters to cheese tofu (dofu!) and marshmallows were burnt to ashes :D Then we presented junjie with his cake, but not before doing something stupid: we put it on a paper plate and actually got it to float on the swimming pool! :D No birthday cake can ever be as cool as the one that floats on water.

After we cleaned up the mess we created, we went up to victor's house where I had my first taste of liquor (which was disgusting by the way; I still don't see the appeal of alcohol), then it was talking cock, taking photos and playing monopoly deal until we went home. I said this before, and I know it's too late for you to see this, but good luck in there junjie! :D

I more or less forgot that I'm leaving for Penang in the morning and I'll only be back on Monday. Can't really say that I'm looking forward to this trip though, there just isn't the same anticipation as with other trips I've had (come on, I even forgot about it). Oh well, in any case I'll be off tomorrow no matter what, so bye guys.

We part ways, but we won't part company

I know this post has been long overdue since I left a cliffhanger in the previous post about grad night, but now's my holiday, which I intend to spend as decadently and with as little activities requiring basic mental activity (i.e. writing) as possible. Childish and irresponsible? Yes. Beneath me? Hell no.

Grad night was awesome! The food was great, the entertainment was quite good too, and it was the first time I saw so many of my classmates and friends decked out in the classiest of attire. We're finally starting to look like the refined NJCian ladies and gentlemen we're supposed to be, eh? But even if prom was held in a hawker centre zichar stall and we all came in t-shirts and bermudas, I still think I would have enjoyed it. Really, prom is not about the glitz or the glamour or the food; what else could it be about besides the company? It's a celebration alright, but not one for the best-dressed or the most popular, but for the simple fact that we are all NJCians who have survived the arduous two years and have found companionship in each other. I find that people who didn't enjoy prom because it was " not good" have simply missed the point completely. I'm starting to have a bit of regret over not having brought a camera, since that was probably the last time I'll see many of these people, but with the wonders of modern technology (when you mention "modern technology" in a GP essay it's nearly always Facebook, isn't it?) I think it's still possible to keep in touch with friends :)

After prom, the 28 gang minus OAC people went to play LAN at *scape (it's spelled with the "*" right?). First up the dota noobs played CS, where I got completely owned by jaron and zhongxi, whoever happened to be on the opposing team at the time, while the dota pros played dota (like duh). After a few rounds, the dota noobs played dota and the dota pros played CS... and then switched back to dota anyway. It's comforting to know that at least among the dota noobs I can hold my own in dota :D

When we were done with LAN (approximately 2.5 hours later), someone had a delusional fatigue-inspired idea and we actually walked nearly all the way back to bryan's house, which took an hour or so. And when we finally relented and hailed cabs, it turned out that his house was only another 15 minutes on foot T_T Definitely a lesson in perseverance. So we reached bryan's house and the first thing we did, out of all the stuff we could have done, including going for either of two post-prom parties, was watch a pirated copy of Snakes On A Plane, but hey, it was a fair trade for me. It's one of those movies that's so bad and campy that the dial spins all the way around and it becomes awesome. If I haven't mentioned it here before, here it is: I have a weird liking for so-bad-it's-good movies like this.

The rest of the sleepover was pretty much talking nonsense and being retarded (AKA the usual routine) (notice how "sleep" was not mentioned; "sleepover" is the greatest misnomer in human history), and then we went back home. Awesome time guys, and I'm sure the chalet will be even better.

I just came back from a birthday/farewell party for junjie since he's leaving for NS later today, but it's 4am right now which is the latest I've ever stayed up to since the start of the holidays (excluding the all-nighter during the sleepover of course), so I think I'd better sleep now. I'll fill in with the details later today.

All the best junjie! :D

Big Crunch

Just like how the big bang is what got the universe started, the big crunch is what will end it by the same theory. And the big crunch of this crazy, hectic, draining, amazing two-year JC journey will be graduation night.

Since it's 6 minutes past 12 at the time of writing, it means that grad night is tonight! Looking forward to a great dinner and talk-cock session with the 28 gang, followed by a sleepover movie marathon at Bryan's house :D (I apologise to the guys who prepared the post-prom party at the Butter Factory, but I just don't think that I'm the clubbing type :P ) A pity that so little people are going for prom though; this is one of those events that gets better the more people attend it. Nevertheless, I'm sure that it will be an awesome time for those of us who do attend it :) Then again, I guess it's to each his own; not everyone will like the prom concept I guess. I just envisioned that group to be, you know, smaller than what it's proven to be from the weak prom attendance.

It seems that just about all the guys are wearing the standard blazer-shirt-tie get-up, so I'm a bit worried about being the odd one out. I wasn't expecting literally 99% of the guys to wear the same thing, and now it's too late to conform :( Oh well, considering the mess that my dear friends have gotten me into, there's very little chance of me blending into the background regardless. Up till now, I have no idea who voted me into this nonsense. Just gotta thicken my skin and rush past it.

I've got absolutely no motivation to exercise these days. The degradation of my physical condition is not as worrying as the degradation of my mental willpower.

It's hard to keep this place updated. When you're busy and have lots of stuff happening in your life, you can't find time to blog. When you finally have nothing on and can focus on the blog, you find that there's nothing happening in your life worth blogging about. Nevertheless, I'll make a commitment not to let this place die. Not yet, anyway; it's definitely going down once I go off for NS, whether I like it or not :(

Oh, and before I forget: who comes here anyway? Like, seriously, who are you guys? Ever since I figured out how to view my blog traffic stats (yes I'm fully aware that I'm a technological noob for having to take so long to figure it out) I realised that I'm getting far more views than I thought, and coming from sources which suggest that the viewers are at least somewhat acquainted with me. I'm just really curious to find out who actually bothers coming here at all. I've always had the impression that my blog was a lone cactus on a warm summer night (song lyrics; guess where they came from :) ) So anyway, feel free to leave something in the comment box to the right; don't think that I put it there solely for the enjoyment of spambots. Or not, of course. Who am I kidding; if y'all haven't been commenting since forever, there's no reason to start now, right? I'll be content with the mild ego boost from seeing my page view line graph go up and down ^^

Why am I using so many emoticons nowadays? I don't really know why :/ (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?)

Decadence

The past few days have been the epitome of decadence (not like it's a bad thing). I spent the last few days playing this MMORPG called Fantasy Earth Zero. I joined at the same time as Lionel and J.Tan and now we're all about the same level. I think it's quite cool that we're playing together. The game's good too, except it tends to lag on my computer (usually to my disadvantage :( ). It would be awesome if we could get the whole 28 gang to play at the same time, then it would be like having gatherings in the virtual world.

Today, I went out with Edmund, Jacob and Lionel with the intent of buying prom clothes, but... Moral of the story: never go clothes-shopping with 4 guys who are easily distracted by Gundam, Digimon and Tron toy exhibits. So... yeah, we didn't buy anything in the end.

I'm seriously contemplating inviting friends over to my house or bringing the Wii to other people's houses so that I can find new opponents for SSBB (OK admittedly that would be pretty unfair since they wouldn't have any experience whatsoever). I'm looking forward to my long awaited, one-year-in-the-making SSBB DEATHMATCH with Nigel now that his WiFi is set up, but still he's only one person. I wish more of my friends play SSBB. And don't even get me started on random WiFi, because nobody is ever online when it's daytime in this part of the globe. On a random note, I wonder how I would fare if there was an SSBB tournament here in Singapore (which will never happen); I think I'm an above average player, but definitely not as good as the gods you see on youtube.

TL;DR: I've been slacking since 'A' levels ended, and I'm damn happy about it :D