I think the reason why people like to keep personal blogs like this that are still open to the public, is that it gives them the false hope that someone, somewhere out there is reading and empathising. Just throwing that out there.
My resistance to the effects of lack of sleep has sharply decreased. I'm getting old.
It is only now that I realise how true they are, all those adages and truisms about trust being like a mirror and whatnot; about how you can never fully repair it once it is broken. "Forgive and forget" is much easier said than done, and right now I'm functioning not so much on forgiveness as I am on pity. Then again, pity itself is a very strong emotion as well.
It's like I built a tower reaching towards the heavens, standing atop four pillars. I just hope that at the end of the day, at least one of them will survive for my audacious charge towards the sky. Otherwise, everything will come crashing down.
And now I'm going to dump a whole bunch of Homestuck songs that I've come to like, because blog.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
It's too late to apologise
So, it's been a long time.
With the start of my joint HubPages project with 2 of my NS friends (I'll refrain from advertising my URL here), I now have a new and perhaps more productive avenue through which I can express myself with writing. As such, the blog has largely become obsolete for me, save for the times when I feel the need to express feelings too personal or maybe too gloomy to be weaved into some sort of cash cow. Which I guess is know.
What am I supposed to think when someone considers all his options and then decides to walk away, only to keep poking his head through your window? I want to believe in second chances, but such indecision just reeks of half-heartedness and a lack of genuine commitment. I know that I come from a society which practically obliges me to forgive him, but on a personal level I have always believed that bloodline and age should never be used as excuses for shoddy or even downright callous decision-making. Call me stone-hearted; call me unforgiving, but as things stand right now I would rather weld the door shut than risk another breaking-and-entering. The only reason why the door is still open now is for the sake of humouring the other people involved.
Maybe I've always been this cold-blooded. Maybe I only became like this after the incident. I don't really care for the history lesson anymore.
With the start of my joint HubPages project with 2 of my NS friends (I'll refrain from advertising my URL here), I now have a new and perhaps more productive avenue through which I can express myself with writing. As such, the blog has largely become obsolete for me, save for the times when I feel the need to express feelings too personal or maybe too gloomy to be weaved into some sort of cash cow. Which I guess is know.
What am I supposed to think when someone considers all his options and then decides to walk away, only to keep poking his head through your window? I want to believe in second chances, but such indecision just reeks of half-heartedness and a lack of genuine commitment. I know that I come from a society which practically obliges me to forgive him, but on a personal level I have always believed that bloodline and age should never be used as excuses for shoddy or even downright callous decision-making. Call me stone-hearted; call me unforgiving, but as things stand right now I would rather weld the door shut than risk another breaking-and-entering. The only reason why the door is still open now is for the sake of humouring the other people involved.
Maybe I've always been this cold-blooded. Maybe I only became like this after the incident. I don't really care for the history lesson anymore.
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