Delaying the inevitable decision

Well, i wouldn't call it a nervous breakdown; no, that would be much too extreme, but something definitely happened this morning. it all started with physics, when i realised that i kept making stupid careless mistakes, mistakes that even a secondary school kid wouldn't be making; in fact, some of those mistakes i made before in secondary school, and thought i had learned from. evidently though, nothing sank in from those juvenile times past. it just got even worse when i tried doing maths maclaurin series, which i have clean forgotten. i just got generally frustrated: frustrated over not being able to do questions from SH1, frustrated over getting arguably the worst maths teacher in the college, frustrated at myself basically. quite predictably, that kind of mindset did nothing to help with the maths, so i kind of spiraled downwards a bit. thanks to lionel and lishang for snapping me out of it :) at this point, mental endurance is really as important, if not more important than intellectual capability. the key is to keep a positive attitude towards everything, because negativity will do nothing to help the situation now.

i went to the NUS talk on admissions, courses and scholarships today. i think i've finally found the course i want to enroll in: engineering science :D it's basically engineering, with side modules to learn the science behind what you're studying. in other words, it's the best of both worlds, for me anyway. now that i have a clear view of what i want to study, there're still the questions of where and how.

and speaking of how, i have to decide by tomorrow whether or not i want to apply for a PSC scholarship or not. i have to admit that through my time in NJC, i've developed some sort of desire to serve and lead, but i'm not sure if i'm willing to compromise on my wish to do research. which do i value more, the prestige of the scholarship and the satisfaction of becoming a leader, or the chance to go into an industry i've always been interested in? and should i factor in that the school might be disappointed if i don't try for the PSC scholarship? of course by right this should be all my decision, but by left there's a lot of stuff i also have to factor in. can't decide can't decide can't decide T_T i think i need to consult mrs hue one more time before i come to my final decision.

it's a fact that we are two very different groups of people; it's precisely because of that that we have to stop expecting them to become more like us. we have to move beyond awareness and tolerance of each other, and eventually learn to appreciate and integrate each other into our lives.

on a more light-hearted note, i'm completely obsessed with these earphones that i read about in Digital Life:

the earphones actually vibrate so that you hear music through bone conduction in addition to air conduction! :D this technology has been used before in "earclips" which are kind of like tiny speakers you clip behind your earlobes which let you hear sound by vibrating your earlobes, but the common drawback is the lack of sound quality in the mid-high frequencies. these earphones get the best of both worlds by transmitting bass notes through bone conduction and mid-high frequencies through air conduction! i was expecting high-tech gizmotry like this to cost hundreds of dollars, but it's actually only $70, which is reasonably higher than what you would pay for mid-range quality earphones. if you were planning to get something for me for some reason, then *hinthint* :D