Posting results are out, and tomorrow I'll be headed to Stagmont Camp to train to become a signal operator. I should be ecstatic about this result: signals has long been known to be one of the slackest vocations available for combat fit NSmen, right up there with military police, police force, air force and navy. And to a certain extent I guess I am glad. After all, it's much much better to be a signaler than, say, a rifleman. But when you see practically all of your friends being posted to SCS or even OCS while you are stuck as a man in a vocation where you will never be able to shrug off the label of "chao keng", the feeling doesn't sit well somehow. It's not so much about missing the glory of being a commander, but I want to be able to look my friends in the eye and say "I'll be going through the same thing with you."
I guess it's like Bryan said: since I have so much more free time now, I should focus on spending it effectively instead. Maybe start studying for SATs or something. Every man's a leader, not just the commanders, which I guess is true to a certain extent, even though it does sound rather patronising. And in the back of my mind, hope for a conversion course.
I don't know why not getting into SCS feels like the world to me. Really I have so many more important things to worry about, such as why I still haven't gotten replies from NUS and DSTA, and yet I can only focus on these short-term matters which will barely affect me 20 months down the road. I guess it's like what I previously mused, that we tend to gravitate towards what is most current instead of what is most important.
Speaking of which, I need to find a way to say to NUS as tactfully as possible that they should really confirm my application into their university before inviting me to an interview to one of their programmes. And on a date I can't make, no less.
