Things actually got off to quite a good start. Got into NS and went through the standard 9 weeks in a not-too-bad company. Not getting into command school was initially a downer, but my eventual path from SI to 23 Signals turned out to be pretty good as well. Got back 'A' level results and all was good except for econs, but that thankfully didn't scare DSO from letting me have their scholarship. And I could literally pinpoint with a GPS that THAT was exactly when things starting breaking down.
Back in 2010 when people of greater foresight were taking SATs, my thought process was basically "I don't have the money to go to the US, and I don't have a fancy scholarship either, so I'm not doing this." And that was true at the time, because I had yet to apply for the DSO scholarship. After I applied for the scholarship, I thought that I shouldn't be taking the SATs if I couldn't even confirm my scholarship, so I left that alone again... All the way till about May this year, if I remember, when I finally got a confirmation letter. And that was possibly the worst time ever I could get started on the SATs: the 2 years' worth of knowledge on 4 different subjects that I had memorised literally half a year ago had become but a distant blur in my memory. Now I not only have to familiarise myself with an entirely new syllabus, but also pick out the relevant information I learned during J2 from the deepest recesses of my mind to apply here. Predictably, especially for a self-confessed serial procrastinator like myself, I passed SAT deadline after deadline after deadline. Now, on the last day of the year, I have an overseas scholarship and nothing to show for it but a placing in NUS. I know that I might sound a tad snobbish right now but that's not the point; the point is that I had a golden opportunity and now I've all but thrown it out the window. I'm not lamenting my ill fate or cursing the heavens for toying with me; I'm berating myself for such an incredibly poor management of my own life this year.
OK, berating's over.
I am NOT going to sit around and feel sorry for myself the way I've been doing ever since I came back from Wallaby. I am NOT going to crumple in a corner and cry as I watch this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity slip through my fingers because I was too lazy to cup my hands. The new year may be a traditional time for resolutions, but it is not for such a trivial and arbitrary reason that I am writing this down today. As the new year arrives, SAT dates will renew and application windows will reopen. I might have some explaining to do with DSO about why I can only confirm my university placing in Q1 2013, but I'd much rather do that than lose this chance altogether.
I read somewhere that a New Year's resolution needs to be attainable, measurable and precisely defined to be effective, so I'm now going to pen down my first set of serious resolutions ever:
- I will study for and take SAT I and have a clear deadline for SAT II by 2 June
- I will find out what kind of testimonials and essays I need prepared for university application and procure them by August (don't ask me where I got that date from)
- Since DSO no longer allows scholars to go to ICL, the only options for UK universities are Oxbridge, so in light of that development, I will submit an application to Cambridge (I can't believe I just made myself promise that)
For the past 19 years I've been a vagrant in my own shoes, drifting about with no clear goal. Perhaps it was more than mere coincidence that I got a daily planner from the class gift exchange.
Since I know that I'll be doing the countdown with the 28 guys tonight and tomorrow, here's wishing you a Happy New Year's Day in advance, and if I had any good parting words for 2011, I'd have to shamelessly quote myself comparing 'A' levels to running: "If you stumble, just focus ahead. If you try to look back, you'll just trip over the next roadblock."
