Whether it's just another 365 days or truly a new year is up to you

31st december. well, after a full 365 days, we're once again at the border between this year and the next, crossing the supposed boundary between past and future, regret and possibility, 2009 and 2010. that's all well and good, but the more i think about it, the more it just seems to me that the new year is entirely arbitrary and meaningless. the new year could just as easily been yesterday, or tomorrow, or any other day of the year, and as long as you waited 365 days before declaring another year the calendar would still function quite well. still, i cant deny that through ages of implementation, the new year has come to instinctively invoke in all of us a sense of new beginning. perhaps all the new year does is to provide a marker, a single unanimous date when everyone can find company with each other in taking that bold first step towards change.

2009 was definitely an unforgettable year for me. it nearly seems that all my life i have been frozen in time like some neantherdal trapped in a block of ice: looking out at the world but never learning and evolving myself to become a better person. after the events of 2009, i woke up and was appalled at the kind of person i have turned out to be. i was self-centred and melodramatic and completely undependable. honestly i tried to change myself to be a better person, but i feel that i have barely made any progress. luckily though, my awakening was also timely to experience new blessings which i would have totally missed as my previous self-absorbed self. the biggest gift that this year has brought, and i will never get tired of saying this, is the gift of friendship. forming new bonds, rediscovering old ties, and strengthening friendships which i already held dear to me are things that i will be eternally grateful for.

i guess it is customary for people to come up with new year's resolutions at this point of time. here are some things which i hope to accomplish in the coming year.

1. i will work on my physical fitness. i've been inanimate for so long already, and it is only this year that i started to focus on physical training. not much progress so far, but i hope i will at least get through napfa without getting into BMT (i know some of you must be laughing now, but everything must start from somewhere roght?). then after that, i'll work on not becoming a liability to the team during A divs, though i think this will be hard given that i have h3 exams during the competition period. i'll just give my best shot to see how it goes.
2. i will be serious in my studies. by that i dont just mean scoring well in exams. i will try my best to hand in homework and assignments on time, and not after repeated warnings from teachers like what i've been doing my entire life. although scoring in A levels is important, to me this is less of academics and more of responsibility. admittedly i am a very lackdaisical person by nature, but i will not let that become a liability to my friends, so i have to learn to at least tame this instinct of mine just long enough to focus on homework.
3. i will not complain about life. i realised how disgusting it is to whine about how bitter a life i live when it is plain as day that i am blessed, perhaps unfairly so, when compared to other people and even my own friends. i am but one insignificant speck of dust in this world, so surely i have no perspective of the true horrors that could actually count for a bitter life.
4. i will not be a liability to my friends. when my friend hits a rough patch in life, i will not be the oblivious moron i have been this past year, adding to his worries with my incessant whining or uttering empty words of comfort and soothsaying while not actually doing anything to help him. 2009 has taught me how important friends are, and it's precisely because of that reason that i feel that i have been a terrible friend to those around me this past year. in 2010, i will not make those same mistakes. friends have a duty to be there for each other, and if i become a liability to my friends in their time of need then i'm better off being a stranger to them.

well, that's all i can think off at the moment, but i guess 4 resolutions is enough to last a year, arent they? happy new year guys, hope you have a great time in the next 365 days, and dont forget to work towards making 2010 a truly new year for you and those around you :)