Writing an eulogy for a person who's still alive has to be one of the most emotionally confusing and exhausting endeavours possible. the emotional part of you wants to believe that everything's gonna be ok, and that he'll recover, and that there's simply no need for an eulogy since he will pull through anyway, but the rational part of you simply glances at his withering body and concludes firmly that there is no way he can live for long, and that for efficiency's sake you should just go about writing it. when my mom first told me to write an eulogy for my grandfather, he was still alive but in critical condition and expected to pass on any time. admittedly, i wasnt as strong as my mom or aunts or grandmother (she seemed to be the calmest of us all. perhaps once you reach a certain age you are already instinctively prepared for stuff like this), who were already preparing for the funeral while my grandfather was still breathing, albeit fitfully. well, now what's happened has happened, and there's no more room for uncertainty or false hope, which means that i need to get started. i really dont know what i should write; something simple, or do i have a responsibility to write more, more than what im confident or comfortable with?
friends should never make you feel obligated to do anything. they should never impose any sort of pressure on you to do or say anything unless it is really and objectionably for everyone's good. but sometimes i feel like im pushing my limits as a friend. if you dont feel like talking about it, TELL ME and i will stop probing. sometimes i cant see where the line is, but if you see that i've crossed it then you must let me know immediately, otherwise i might end up just going on and on and hurting everyone in the process.
