My appeal for an extra academic unit was officially approved today, i.e. i now officially take 2 H3 subjects. finally, after more than a month of waiting, the answer is out and i can have a confirmed subject combination. still, the initial fears and hesitations i had when i first made this decision have barely subsided. the main question i still ask myself is "can i cope?" the school seems to have a lot of faith in me, perhaps too much. it's become quite obvious now that they are really expecting me, even counting on me, to earn them the ever-important academic glory which they so crave, and im not sure if i can handle it. after all, i was never a prominent figure or high achiever in cat high, and all of a sudden im being pushed into the limelight; one might even venture to say that to some extent im fighting for the school.
i think no matter what, im already willingly committed to taking 2 H3s, but right in the near future lies a more pressing question: should i retake my chinese A levels? the school is of the opinion that having straight As will greatly boost my scholarship chances, but my mom thinks that a B is good enough for normal uni entry. i guess for me it's an internal struggle between aspiration and realism; should i shoot for the stars, or tread safely on the ground? i dont know... i might become photophobic if the limelight keeps glaring down on me like this.
mr irwan pointed out the complete lack of class bonding in my class during pe today. i've always been aware that the class experiences some degree of segregation between the guys and the girls, and i've always been telling myself that it's perfectly normal and that i am just over-reacting (coming from a boy's school and all), but what he said today really hit the nail on the head. we've been in the same class for over a year now, but the way we act seems to suggest that we just met a few hours ago. the word i am looking for is "ridiculous": it is absolutely ridiculous that a class can be so divided after an entire year that a teacher, and not even our personal mentor at that, can see the severity of the situation and has to step in to slap some sense into us. now that everyone's attention has been directed to this problem, maybe we can finally start working towards a solution.
match against IJC tmr. let's do it, guys.
