Screwed up chinese oral. again. i can't believe i get two chances at it and still screw it up. is that even possible? what am i saying, it's quite obvious from my own example that it is. at least now there's only listening compre left. just one more component, then truly no more chinese forever and ever. if i can't end with a bang, at least let it end quickly.
there's GP later, for the first time since the holidays, and i am completely not looking forward to it. not only because i have not done any of the GP homework or the file, but because GP has become such a draggy subject for everyone in my class. just because we're a "1" class, we're expected to be so full of vigor and enthusiasm for the wonders and joys of learning, which although is very romantic and ideal, is rarely the behaviour exhibited by a single person, let alone an entire class. i guess if you asked my opinion on why my GP class is so screwed up all time, i'd say that the teacher is way too enthusiastic while the students are not enthusiastic enough. depressing, really; i want to sympathise and participate more in the lessons, but at the same time GP itself just repels me like anything, not to mention i'm already in her black book many times over and it's probably too late to start getting enthu now.
and i only just remembered about tomorrow's transition metals test, which probably means that i won't be studying for it. also, i just realised i have yet to reprint my data booklet since that unfortunate incident when my water bottle soaked through all my notes, which means i'll probably have to survive tomorrow by sitting next to someone with a data booklet.
looking at the hockey people now and comparing with some of my friends makes me feel like a horrible senior. did i overload myself too much and too early? in the early part of the year when everyone else was still going for their CCAs, i was busy with my H3s and chinese. now that most of that stuff is finally ending, it's already term 3 and much too late for SH2s to even get involved with CCAs anymore. i remember in cat high when i couldn't fulfill any significant "senior" duties because robotics club was then being run by mr ee (and thus was pathetic by default) and could barely attract newcomers. i remember saying to myself that i would try my best to be a good senior in whatever CCA i would join in JC. and very recently, i remember failing that resolution. i'm not a good hockey player to begin with, and now not only do i not have any good skills to pass on, but i also didn't get the opportunity to do so. sorry guys, if any of you even visit this place :(
aye, this is the first time i stopped filling my head with "life is awesome, don't think about changing the past" propaganda and seriously considered whether i regret going down this path or not. of course i'm grateful for having the extremely rare opportunity of taking 2 H3s, but at what cost? at the cost of being strongly persuaded to retake chinese? or having to give up nearly every school afternoon to after-school commitments? or being under the constant scrutiny of teachers and school staff? or giving up hockey? you could say that in a few ways, i had to give up being "normal". worth it?
so anyway, it seems that the term of the 42nd student council has ended. i know i'm not a councillor or anything, but i just want to thank them for organising and executing all the school events throughout the past year. i know that it's quite a thankless job and there will always be people who didn't like that one event because there was no air-conditioning or some other trivial matter, but i'd just like to say that no matter how many sarcastic jokes and witty remarks i made about the things which you guys did, at the end of the day it's still all appreciated :) so i guess here's thanks to the 42nd, and good luck to the 43rd.
comparing myself to the councillors who put in all their time and effort to making NJC a better place, suddenly my plight isn't even a plight anymore. life is awesome.
