The whistle sounded; the marathon began.
I started off strong, keeping myself strictly within my planned pace. in fact, I managed to inch ahead of time to actually gain a small lead. At the halfway mark, I had much more extra time than I originally anticipated. People started to expect me to finish first.
Then the clouds parted and the sun started to beat down. On top of that, I started to become aware of my body's fatigue. The combination of sweltering heat and lactic burn was unbearable. I felt myself slowing down, but I couldn't find the will to pick up the pace again. After all, I can probably still finish on time at this pace, so why bother?
And then it came to the final lap, and I realise that I am desperately behind time. Of course I want to finish on time, but I'm not sure if my body can find the strength to speed up, or if there's enough time left on the clock to catch up. Surely I'll have to let those people down.
But then I remember that I am not running their race; I am not running for their time; I am not running for their glory. I am running to meet my own goal, a target I set for myself, independent of what everyone else thought I could or should achieve. Today, I realised that I have fallen very short of that target.
Now the race has become personal. Even if I cannot win the race, I will reach that finish line to attain my own goal. I will block out everything and everyone else; all that matters is me, that line, and the ticking clock. And now that it involves personal business, I will not hesitate to push myself beyond every conceivable limit. If need be, I will sprint until my body withers away and crumples into a breathless heap, so long as it crumples after the finish line.
At the start of the year, I decided to adopt the motto "burn bright like a star, burn out like a comet". Now's finally the time to stick to it till the end.
