Got back econs today, and it was quite bad. well, there were some pinpricks of light, but on the whole i was losing large chunks of marks here and there for reasons i have not yet figured out, getting like 12 and 13 out of 25 for my essays... my original grade was D, but by some miraculous moderation i shot up two grades to a B. still, it's sitting in the back of my mind that in actual fact i'm only a D-grade student. what went wrong? i think i know what was going on, so did the breakdown occur between the mind and the pen?
i'm very afraid for econs and GP, the two subjects that require essay writing. for some reason i can never ensure that i convey my meaning into words. i'm really starting to see the appeal that mathematicians saw when they decided to create their own language using intuitive symbols, stripped down of the ambiguity that we find in other languages. of course this considerably undermines the literary depth of any written material (imagine a poem written entirely in mathematical symbols?), but really, sometimes the depth and ambiguity only lends itself to misunderstanding. when nearly every word and combination of words has multiple meanings, it can get hard to convey messages and ideas.
ok, i have digressed. the fact of the matter is that maths will never become the language of choice for essay-writing, so i gotta quit whining and start practicing. it's probably time to spam full essays for both GP and econs, which sounds incredibly exhausting but is unfortunately the only solution i can think of, short of putting essays under my pillow and hoping for diffusion. but it's just frustrating to have to put in so much effort, knowing full well that it's likely not going to pay off in a very visible way. it's like firing signal flares into the night sky and hoping that someone in the inky blackness saw your plea for help.
