Just as i suspected, we got back GP and maths results. GP first: well, my gamble to use the "two extremes" essay structure for the first time during the CTs backfired, but luckily the compre saved me and i ended up with a B. i think out of all my subjects, GP is the one i constantly feel the most pressured to score in. due to my fluke A in last year's CTs, you could say that my reputation now precedes me, and everyone expects me to keep scoring A for GP. upon reflection though, i think that that is highly unlikely to happen unless i start bucking up for my essay, summary and AQ components, which are unfortunately also the hardest components to train in a subject that is already notoriously non-muggable. i just hope that 3 months is enough (it is only now that i realise that 3 months is a scarily short time).
well, maths was slightly better. i managed to score an A, but also discovered how ridiculously weak i am in complex numbers. more worrying though is that the cohort as a whole was slaughtered by maths. taking my class as an example: usually we would have about a 60% AB rate, being the "stream" class we're supposed to be, but this time there were only 5 As. i was choking on the heavy atmosphere throughout the entire lesson, and there might as well have been thunderclouds tumbling and crackling above our heads. there were friends who were too depressed to even continue listening to the lesson, friends who were desperately trying to find that extra 1 mark to pass, friends who tried to laugh the pain away and pretend they didn't care when actually they were bleeding inside. i wanted to comfort them, but what could i do? coming from a person who isn't in the same plight as them, my empathy will always seem to be nothing more than demeaning pity. how many tired soldiers will be rejuvenated by the words of a comrade who up till that point has not moved a muscle? how hypocritical i would sound, from their point of view.
there was the NJC career and scholarships fair after school, which above other less important consequences meant FREE STUFF! :D i got a transparent calculator, a laser pointer, a 4-colour highlighter in the shape of a person, and a foolscap pad. well, i did actually attend one talk, the one conducted by BCA, since lionel was saying that they were good because they offered a $12000 no-bond scholarship. also learned about an internship programme with A*STAR that i might apply for after A levels. after the fair i learned how to play monopoly deal from nigel, khaisoon, jianzhong and edmund, and i have to say that it's quite interesting :) went home and didn't manage to do much work since tomorrow is a slack day anyway, but i started on a few of the graph theory proving questions due tomorrow and got kind of depressed while doing them. it's really starting to seem that how i will fare for the H3 math A levels depends nearly entirely on whether or not i will be able to miraculously "see" the method to prove the given statements, especially for graph theory and combinatorics. it's become almost like GP: you never know what's going to come out, so there's nearly no way to prepare.
here's a song from DragonForce called Valley of the Damned. it's one of the few DragonForce songs i like because of it's inspirational tune and lyrics.
i believe that we'll all make it out of the valley eventually :)
