Had another GP consultation with Ms Chua today, and it was just as insightful as the first with regard to how to tackle essay questions. I think I finally see why they (whoever "they" are) decided to include it in our syllabus: the skills needed to do well in GP really are important logical thinking skills which I expect will go far in preparing us for future obstacles. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that GP would actually be enjoyable if it wasn't for the fact that it's graded. Actually, that kind of applies to everything, doesn't it? Do we really need the threat of examinations to push ourselves to fulfill our own potential? The best-case scenario, of course, would be that we are more than willing to give our all for a subject out of sheer passion, but obviously that doesn't happen a lot. If education was purely passion-based, then on the one hand it would result in truly self-driven experts in a diverse range of fields, but on the other hand there would also be a large group of free-floaters who end up wasting their lives away doing nothing or, arguably even worse, specialise in something which they love but cannot apply anywhere in real life. And what if someone is gifted in a field but not interested in it? Would it be right to force him down a path he doesn't want to take?
So anyway, sometime during the consultation Ms Chua said something along the lines of "I think we could all sit for the 'A' levels tomorrow, can't we? The waiting time now is only a matter of sharpening the skills we already have." Frankly, I'm saddened by the truth I see in that statement. Yes, ten days (yes, we only have ten days left at the time of posting) is a very short time with which to actually learn anything new, and maybe the most we can cram into our heads in the next week and a half will be refinements of what we already know. True or not, it hurts to think that the deadline for changing the future has passed us and that we're now more or less locked onto our respective paths like trains on rails. Having said all that, nothing is absolute in life, and I'll continue to cling on to success stories of people who have risen from the ashes between prelims and 'A' levels for what little help it will do. In this fight, every little bit will help, and you never know if that one mark you picked up from revision will be the one mark to clinch your grade. And of course, I can get through the 'A' levels without regret if I know that I fought till my last breath.
On Thursday, there was much buzz and discussion from the guys of NJ as we all received our NS enlistment notices. Unfortunately, I was sorted into the first intake and will be going off on my exotic tropical island getaway on 9th February 2011. I was really hoping to get sorted into the second intake. There are so many things I want to do after 'A' levels! Now I'm getting a break that's even shorter than the one between 'O' levels and JC, and I'll have to spend a good part of it preparing for NS. It seems I won't be able to catch the release of Protest The Hero's new album :(
Speaking of which, there's been a PTH revival of sorts in my playlist; I'm suddenly listening to their songs as often as when I first discovered them and was totally raving (not that I'm not still obsessed with their amazing music \m/ ), especially Palms Read. I swear I've played that song at least ten times in the past 24 hours. So even though I know this is a repost (and probably no the first repost at that), here's Palms Read by Protest The Hero, a song of epic proportions from an equally epic band:
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Reach For The Stars
Nothing much to talk about here. I'm just quite surprised by who actually reads my blog. On the one hand, blog traffic is very nice for the ego ( :D ) but on the other hand it also means that I can't be as loose-lipped as I currently am when voicing out my opinions here. Maybe we have to treat blogs like hipsters treat music: the more underground and indie it is, the better.
There are some people I wish I knew better, or at least kept in closer touch with. I did that Facebook status thing circulating around, where you answer 8 questions about anyone who "like" your status, and I realised that I really don't know what to write for some people. For some of them it's because I haven't talked to them in ages, and for others it's because I really just added them on Facebook and left the "friendship" at that. "Social networking gives us more acquaintances but less friends"... Sounds like it might be a GP essay question.
Although I'm only posting this now, I've actually been raving over this game for more than a week now. It's called Sonic Colours, it's coming out on November 16th, and it looks like the first actually decent Sonic game in 3D :D I'm not saying that Sonic Heroes wasn't fun, but it had some awkward camera control and simply couldn't match up to 2D Sonic games in terms of sheer speed. Colours, however, seems set to change all that:
Also, although the game's theme song is completely not my usual genre, I can't help but have it stuck in my head :D After-'A's goal!
There are some people I wish I knew better, or at least kept in closer touch with. I did that Facebook status thing circulating around, where you answer 8 questions about anyone who "like" your status, and I realised that I really don't know what to write for some people. For some of them it's because I haven't talked to them in ages, and for others it's because I really just added them on Facebook and left the "friendship" at that. "Social networking gives us more acquaintances but less friends"... Sounds like it might be a GP essay question.
Although I'm only posting this now, I've actually been raving over this game for more than a week now. It's called Sonic Colours, it's coming out on November 16th, and it looks like the first actually decent Sonic game in 3D :D I'm not saying that Sonic Heroes wasn't fun, but it had some awkward camera control and simply couldn't match up to 2D Sonic games in terms of sheer speed. Colours, however, seems set to change all that:
Also, although the game's theme song is completely not my usual genre, I can't help but have it stuck in my head :D After-'A's goal!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Myopia
No matter how many test papers I do, no matter how much revision I manage to cram into every day, it always seems to be that the moment I come back and reflect upon my day, I realise that in spite of all that I have done, there's still so much that I have yet to do, and now there is one less day to do it. There are never enough hours in a day, never enough days in a week, never enough weeks until the 'A' levels. I keep finding myself wishing for more time.
If given enough time, do we all have limitless potential? Is our ability limited only by time? Could it be that the ones who get ahead in life are not the ones with the greatest capability, but the ones who most quickly realise what little latent skills they have?
Of course, none of that matters now. The only thing that matters now is that I make the most use of the next day. It's a bit like how a soldier forces himself to think only up to the next day; if he ever thought long enough about how low his chances of survival are, how he's pretty much waiting to die, how none of his actions would be able to change his fate,I'm sure he'd go crazy. Short-sightedness is the only thing that will keep me sane.
If given enough time, do we all have limitless potential? Is our ability limited only by time? Could it be that the ones who get ahead in life are not the ones with the greatest capability, but the ones who most quickly realise what little latent skills they have?
Of course, none of that matters now. The only thing that matters now is that I make the most use of the next day. It's a bit like how a soldier forces himself to think only up to the next day; if he ever thought long enough about how low his chances of survival are, how he's pretty much waiting to die, how none of his actions would be able to change his fate,I'm sure he'd go crazy. Short-sightedness is the only thing that will keep me sane.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Beautifully flawed
Imperfections have been a common running theme in many post-graduation reflection notes popping up all over Facebook (they were almost a fad for a few days), which got me thinking a bit. As with many other topics, my stand is that absolute perfection in every aspect of our lives would be meaningless if we don't have imperfections to contrast with. Without that dose of realism, we would just take perfection for granted. More importantly though, if life was perfect, then there wouldn't be any reason for it to shift from perfection; hence, a perfect world would stagnate by necessity. As quoted from that maths video from months ago, "A timeless and perfect world never changes, but it is dead." If NJ life was perfect, every day would be a mindless routine; a comfortable and enjoyable routine, but a routine nonetheless. In other words, a dead life. If NJ life was cushy all year round, would we still remember so fondly those short respites from studying and mugging?
Funny how I can write paragraph upon paragraph while blogging, but I can never seem to fill up two pages when doing GP or econs. I think the loathing of essay/paragraph writing is the distinction between the science and arts streams :/
How do you differentiate between a natural diamond and an artificial one? Only natural diamonds will have flaws within them.
Funny how I can write paragraph upon paragraph while blogging, but I can never seem to fill up two pages when doing GP or econs. I think the loathing of essay/paragraph writing is the distinction between the science and arts streams :/
How do you differentiate between a natural diamond and an artificial one? Only natural diamonds will have flaws within them.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Proud to be
Yesterday was our farewell assembly. After all the admin stuff was done with, they invited an ex-NJCian to give us a motivational speech. It's life stories like hers that really put your own into perspective, and while I've always been aware that I live a blessed life, it's really a strong dose of reality to know of someone whom you are sort of related to (in the NJC family? haha) having had such a trying 'A' level. Still, inspirational speech was inspirational, and I really do feel motivated to give it my all for the coming exams.
The video was very nostalgic; I'm not gonna act macho and lie about it. Although I wasn't exactly on the verge of tearing, I could feel my heartstrings being tugged as it recapped the ups and downs of NJ life and conveyed all our teachers' heartfelt wishes and motivating words. My heart literally jumped when I saw caifan uncle and tehbing auntie featured in the video too XD The final scene, with the camera view slowly moving along the narrow sheltered path that leads to the side gate and out of NJ, was definitely an emotional climax for me, as I looked upon the path that I have taken out of school every day for the past two years from a totally new perspective.
After the assembly, the OG10 OGLs received cards made by the OG! :D I'm really happy that they actually still remember us even though it's been nearly a year since Genesis. Very glad that we managed to have such a deep impact on all of your lives :) Since you guys wished us good luck for the 'A' levels, I'll return the favour and wish all of you good luck for your PW!
There was chem consolidation, so unfortunately we didn't have much time for photo-taking and general fooling around after the assembly, but we still managed to act crazy for a bit. I got owned twice by the class, first when we were taking a "formal class photo" and ended with lionel grabbing onto my leg while the rest pointed at me and posed for the photo, and second on the field when chin tricked me into trying to taupok j.gan and I ended up getting taupoked instead (my chest still hurts a bit when I breathe in deeply haha). Afterwards, we managed to have a class lunch afterwards, with quite a good attendance. We went to a nearby Domino's Pizza for lunch (I didn't even know that Domino's existed in Singapore, much less that there is a branch near NJ) and afterwards signed each other's class photos. It was a pity that I had GP consolidation at 3.30pm so I couldn't stay and get messages from everyone, but the gesture itself was meaningful enough :)
I'll definitely miss NJC; heck it, I'm missing NJ life already and it's only been a matter of hours. After thinking about it, I realised that I really owe the great times I had in the school to many amazing people. In particular:
OG17 for an amazing start to an amazing two years, and for convincing me that NJ life doesn't necessarily have to be mugger life.
09SH27 for being the last but not least class, and for tolerating all my nonsense (making weird noises, acting half my age etc.).
NJ136 for making a year-long proposal draft and presentation on something as abstract as "conservation" bearable.
The hockey team (seniors, teammates and juniors all included (: ) for pushing through tough times on the pitch with me even though I'm one of the physically weakest on the team, and for all the stupid conversations at the grandstand after training.
The term 3 boarders for making those three months awesome despite the shaky internet and "unique" food. Oh, and for introducing me to PvZ :D
The Ignis OGLs for making the tiring pre-orientation preparations as fun as the actual thing.
OG10 for being an awesome OG \m/ (OG10, can we own them? OH MY GOD, CONFIRM CAN!).
09SH25 for being the closest I've ever been to a class that wasn't my own (in fact, I should thank them for merging with us to form 09SH28).
Xiao Lan for being my H3 physics buddy and for being just as blur as I was during all the lectures XD
Darrell and Joy for being my H3 maths gang together.
The Chinese class people (for both years!) for making the lessons survivable.
The GP back row warriors, for being the GP back row warriors.
The Crossroads mugging group, especially Joshua Goh and his girl-gang for all the biscuits :D
The Bishan Library gang for turning "pink slip collection" into a competitive sport.
The Oreo Prata/Rubber Band/Metal Prata guys for having to endure my failed screamo and my constant suggestions for them to play A7X and Metallica songs
And everyone, I literally mean EVERYONE else I've ever met in NJ who has had some impact on my experience in one way or another. Even if you were just a friend of a friend whom I happened to exchange a few words with, I want to thank you :)
I don't know if my time in NJ will be the best time of my life, or if my life will only get awesomer from here on, but I do know that it has been a uniquely awesome two years spent here, and nothing could ever replace it.
Proud to be? Hell yeah I am.
The video was very nostalgic; I'm not gonna act macho and lie about it. Although I wasn't exactly on the verge of tearing, I could feel my heartstrings being tugged as it recapped the ups and downs of NJ life and conveyed all our teachers' heartfelt wishes and motivating words. My heart literally jumped when I saw caifan uncle and tehbing auntie featured in the video too XD The final scene, with the camera view slowly moving along the narrow sheltered path that leads to the side gate and out of NJ, was definitely an emotional climax for me, as I looked upon the path that I have taken out of school every day for the past two years from a totally new perspective.
After the assembly, the OG10 OGLs received cards made by the OG! :D I'm really happy that they actually still remember us even though it's been nearly a year since Genesis. Very glad that we managed to have such a deep impact on all of your lives :) Since you guys wished us good luck for the 'A' levels, I'll return the favour and wish all of you good luck for your PW!
There was chem consolidation, so unfortunately we didn't have much time for photo-taking and general fooling around after the assembly, but we still managed to act crazy for a bit. I got owned twice by the class, first when we were taking a "formal class photo" and ended with lionel grabbing onto my leg while the rest pointed at me and posed for the photo, and second on the field when chin tricked me into trying to taupok j.gan and I ended up getting taupoked instead (my chest still hurts a bit when I breathe in deeply haha). Afterwards, we managed to have a class lunch afterwards, with quite a good attendance. We went to a nearby Domino's Pizza for lunch (I didn't even know that Domino's existed in Singapore, much less that there is a branch near NJ) and afterwards signed each other's class photos. It was a pity that I had GP consolidation at 3.30pm so I couldn't stay and get messages from everyone, but the gesture itself was meaningful enough :)
I'll definitely miss NJC; heck it, I'm missing NJ life already and it's only been a matter of hours. After thinking about it, I realised that I really owe the great times I had in the school to many amazing people. In particular:
OG17 for an amazing start to an amazing two years, and for convincing me that NJ life doesn't necessarily have to be mugger life.
09SH27 for being the last but not least class, and for tolerating all my nonsense (making weird noises, acting half my age etc.).
NJ136 for making a year-long proposal draft and presentation on something as abstract as "conservation" bearable.
The hockey team (seniors, teammates and juniors all included (: ) for pushing through tough times on the pitch with me even though I'm one of the physically weakest on the team, and for all the stupid conversations at the grandstand after training.
The term 3 boarders for making those three months awesome despite the shaky internet and "unique" food. Oh, and for introducing me to PvZ :D
The Ignis OGLs for making the tiring pre-orientation preparations as fun as the actual thing.
OG10 for being an awesome OG \m/ (OG10, can we own them? OH MY GOD, CONFIRM CAN!).
09SH25 for being the closest I've ever been to a class that wasn't my own (in fact, I should thank them for merging with us to form 09SH28).
Xiao Lan for being my H3 physics buddy and for being just as blur as I was during all the lectures XD
Darrell and Joy for being my H3 maths gang together.
The Chinese class people (for both years!) for making the lessons survivable.
The GP back row warriors, for being the GP back row warriors.
The Crossroads mugging group, especially Joshua Goh and his girl-gang for all the biscuits :D
The Bishan Library gang for turning "pink slip collection" into a competitive sport.
The Oreo Prata/Rubber Band/Metal Prata guys for having to endure my failed screamo and my constant suggestions for them to play A7X and Metallica songs
And everyone, I literally mean EVERYONE else I've ever met in NJ who has had some impact on my experience in one way or another. Even if you were just a friend of a friend whom I happened to exchange a few words with, I want to thank you :)
I don't know if my time in NJ will be the best time of my life, or if my life will only get awesomer from here on, but I do know that it has been a uniquely awesome two years spent here, and nothing could ever replace it.
Proud to be? Hell yeah I am.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Pictorial journal
Well, I went for the interview. Honestly, I can't tell how well it went. All I know is that DSTA very strongly encourages all the applicants to take EEE. Literally half the interview was the interviewer talking about the versatility and utility of EEE in the defense science field. Admittedly, although I did state before that I've always wanted to do science instead of engineering, I also have to concede that I find the idea of engineering to be rather appealing as well. It brings me back to the old days in Cat High robotics, where we tried various means to complete the inane mission objectives of various competitions. On a side note, I met the SJI church gang minus Lionel at the Macritchie bus stop on the way home from the interview, which resulted in epic reactions from them ("What's with the jeans? And COLLARED SHIRT?!").
Tomorrow is our last day as students of NJC. Looking through some of my pictures on Facebook, I realised that since I only created my account at the start of last year (yes, I am a technological n00b), all of my current photos basically form a pictorial journal of my life in NJ. That's 536 pictures plotting the course of my two-year journey:
Looking through the photos, nostalgia was inevitable. I don't care what anyone else says about NJ or JC life in general; tough as it may be, stressful as it may be, I can truthfully say that I thoroughly enjoyed my two years here, and life in NJ will be fondly remembered when it ends for good. Even though I know that the odds are against it, I genuinely hope that all of us can keep in contact after the 'A' levels.
We have to move on, but we don't have to move away.
Tomorrow is our last day as students of NJC. Looking through some of my pictures on Facebook, I realised that since I only created my account at the start of last year (yes, I am a technological n00b), all of my current photos basically form a pictorial journal of my life in NJ. That's 536 pictures plotting the course of my two-year journey:
OG17
09SH27
Hockey
NJ136
Boarding School
OGL Camp
OG10
Hockey juniors
'A' divs
09SH28
We have to move on, but we don't have to move away.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Lyrics
Tomorrow will be my last day of lessons at NJC. Friday will be our farewell assembly so there won't be any lessons (though there will still be chemistry and GP consolidations...), and after that we'll be flying solo. Of course, there will still be messages from mission control from time to time, but by and large we're on our own for this final fight. Nostalgia is definitely starting to creep in, but I shall stave off those thoughts till the day itself; after all, that deserves a post on its own.
For now, the main thing on my mind is tomorrow's DSTA Scholarship interview :X Can't say that I'm 100% prepared, but at least I managed to do some reading up... That should be enough right? [No, not really]
It's still two days away but that graduation song from Vitamin C has started looping in my head already. I guess there's just something about that song, like so many diabetes-inducing love ballads and cringe-worthy National Day songs, which makes it sound unbearably corny at any other time of your life, but seem perfectly acceptable and even likable during those few moments in your life when you actually experience what the lyrics are telling.
In case you haven't noticed, I've decided to make a conscious effort to use proper spelling and grammar in my posts from now on :D Looking back through my archives, I realised that using IM-style contractions make me sound like a bimbo, and I've been cutting back on them for a while now, so I decided to go all the way and fix the lack of capital letters at the start of sentences too. Call me a straw-grabber, but I'll do anything right now to at least give me the feeling that I'm improving my GP in some way. I simply have no affinity with argumentative essay writing, be it GP or econs (<- this is more of a general shorthand rather than an Internet-spawned contraction, so yeah :D ); I remember that I used to actually like writing stories for English compositions, but I just can't find the same enthusiasm or flair in JC.
Wish me good luck for tomorrow. WISH ME NOW.
For now, the main thing on my mind is tomorrow's DSTA Scholarship interview :X Can't say that I'm 100% prepared, but at least I managed to do some reading up... That should be enough right? [No, not really]
It's still two days away but that graduation song from Vitamin C has started looping in my head already. I guess there's just something about that song, like so many diabetes-inducing love ballads and cringe-worthy National Day songs, which makes it sound unbearably corny at any other time of your life, but seem perfectly acceptable and even likable during those few moments in your life when you actually experience what the lyrics are telling.
In case you haven't noticed, I've decided to make a conscious effort to use proper spelling and grammar in my posts from now on :D Looking back through my archives, I realised that using IM-style contractions make me sound like a bimbo, and I've been cutting back on them for a while now, so I decided to go all the way and fix the lack of capital letters at the start of sentences too. Call me a straw-grabber, but I'll do anything right now to at least give me the feeling that I'm improving my GP in some way. I simply have no affinity with argumentative essay writing, be it GP or econs (<- this is more of a general shorthand rather than an Internet-spawned contraction, so yeah :D ); I remember that I used to actually like writing stories for English compositions, but I just can't find the same enthusiasm or flair in JC.
Wish me good luck for tomorrow. WISH ME NOW.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Sanitarium
Today was a really long day. i was already dead when it came to maths, but that was only halfway through the day. after school, the cohort had a mock GP paper 1 followed immediately by the checking of answers. we did the 2009 A level paper, and i was completely annihilated by it. i have no idea how i can even consider myself ready for the A levels given the kind of performance i put up for the test.
i feel much more irritable these few days. maybe it's due to the mounting pressure, i don't know, but i seem to have more pent-up rantings inside of me. oh well, as long as they don't start bubbling up and disturbing the smooth surface of the still lake, then i guess i'll just deal with it. i guess it's something we're all feeling nowadays, and the natural reaction is to strike out at the source of irritation; a rebellion of sorts. but then again, what is the point of rebellion if you have no cause to rebel for?
on a brighter note, i got into the final round of interviews for the DSTA scholarship! :D really excited, but at the same time really nervous. i have absolutely no idea what kind of research i should be doing to prepare for it: do i read up on singapore's defense strategy or learn about our latest defense technology? or do i just keep myself updated on weapons technology in general? the scary thing is that there are only 10 of us (at least for that day), so more than ever it feels like i'm alone on this path. am i the only NJCian applying for it at this point? i don't remember seeing any other NJCians at the assessment centre on friday, and the only two other people i know of who were invited to the assessment said that it wasn't their thing. well anyway, it's on thursday, so i'll be crossing my fingers till then. i really hope i can get this, because in all the uncertainty and turmoil of the A levels it would be really emotionally comforting for me to have some sort of a "safety net".
so anyway, on the topic of going crazy from stress, this is a song that's been stuck in my head the entire day. it's a song about a man locked up in an asylum who doesn't believe that he's insane. one of the best transitions from slow and peaceful to fast and heavy i've ever heard. so here's Welcome Home (Sanitarium):
i feel much more irritable these few days. maybe it's due to the mounting pressure, i don't know, but i seem to have more pent-up rantings inside of me. oh well, as long as they don't start bubbling up and disturbing the smooth surface of the still lake, then i guess i'll just deal with it. i guess it's something we're all feeling nowadays, and the natural reaction is to strike out at the source of irritation; a rebellion of sorts. but then again, what is the point of rebellion if you have no cause to rebel for?
on a brighter note, i got into the final round of interviews for the DSTA scholarship! :D really excited, but at the same time really nervous. i have absolutely no idea what kind of research i should be doing to prepare for it: do i read up on singapore's defense strategy or learn about our latest defense technology? or do i just keep myself updated on weapons technology in general? the scary thing is that there are only 10 of us (at least for that day), so more than ever it feels like i'm alone on this path. am i the only NJCian applying for it at this point? i don't remember seeing any other NJCians at the assessment centre on friday, and the only two other people i know of who were invited to the assessment said that it wasn't their thing. well anyway, it's on thursday, so i'll be crossing my fingers till then. i really hope i can get this, because in all the uncertainty and turmoil of the A levels it would be really emotionally comforting for me to have some sort of a "safety net".
so anyway, on the topic of going crazy from stress, this is a song that's been stuck in my head the entire day. it's a song about a man locked up in an asylum who doesn't believe that he's insane. one of the best transitions from slow and peaceful to fast and heavy i've ever heard. so here's Welcome Home (Sanitarium):
Monday, October 11, 2010
I could use some guiding light, some place to go
I guess at some point in our lives, we will all have dreams. often they are lofty or far-fetched or simply plain ridiculous. precisely because they are so ridiculous, the circumstances you find yourself in will very often urge you to abandon such wild and unrealistic thoughts. it is very tempting to simply forget that wild dream you had when the sound of the world yelling "No" to your face drowns out that tiny voice in your heart that whispers "Yes".
i've always had something like that in my heart: a small flickering flame that never seemed to burn out. in the past, it was a flame that i could always see no matter how dark it became; a pinprick in the inkiness that i could count on to be there.
then i grew older and saw the chips and cracks in the idyllic world of myself and the flame, and it seemed that my small little light was no match for the sheer amount of darkness that poured into my world through the cracks. surely that tiny candlelight had long been washed out, i thought to myself. so i lost sight of it, and went on with my life content in wandering in the dark.
but now, after seeing nothing but the night sky for so long, i caught a glimpse of a light from long ago. it's the same tiny twinkling flame as before, but it gleams brighter than ever in a sky that has never been darker; it is a star, a guiding star with which i can find my way. i may not ever reach the star, but it will always be guiding me along this road. and if i'm lucky, i may just reach that star after all.
You may not reap what you sow, but you will never reap what you dare not sow.
i've always had something like that in my heart: a small flickering flame that never seemed to burn out. in the past, it was a flame that i could always see no matter how dark it became; a pinprick in the inkiness that i could count on to be there.
then i grew older and saw the chips and cracks in the idyllic world of myself and the flame, and it seemed that my small little light was no match for the sheer amount of darkness that poured into my world through the cracks. surely that tiny candlelight had long been washed out, i thought to myself. so i lost sight of it, and went on with my life content in wandering in the dark.
but now, after seeing nothing but the night sky for so long, i caught a glimpse of a light from long ago. it's the same tiny twinkling flame as before, but it gleams brighter than ever in a sky that has never been darker; it is a star, a guiding star with which i can find my way. i may not ever reach the star, but it will always be guiding me along this road. and if i'm lucky, i may just reach that star after all.
You may not reap what you sow, but you will never reap what you dare not sow.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Clock hands
Today's DSTA assessment was highly unconventional and unexpected. i was expecting an interview or maybe an IQ test, but what actually happened was far more interesting than that. i don't think i'm allowed to reveal much about it since there are candidates who still haven't been assessed, so all i'll say is "RPG" :D it may sound weird to you if you haven't experienced it first-hand, but even if the application doesn't go through, i still think it was the most unique (dare i say fun?) scholarship assessment i've ever been to. and DSTA's supposed to be the boring one?
After a week of wondering why everyone else is doing their testimonial while we haven't even caught wind of it, we suddenly have the weekend to write a testimonial. i thought that the SGC was already blowing your own trumpet, but the testimonial blows that clean out of the water. oh well, i just have thicken my skin over the weekend and get over it.
i feel lethargic, all the time. even today, when i woke up at 10.30am because i was going to the assessment instead of school, i still end up feeling like my body is made of lead by 10pm. maybe it's because the entire assessment lasted for 4 hours without any interval. maybe i should have drank more free coffee and tea from the refreshments area. maybe i need to have a regular caffeine intake. i guess independence from commercially available stimulants is just another thing i have to give up for the sake of the A levels.
Next week will be the last week of school.
A month and a day later will be the A levels.
The hands reach out to claim me
Those wretched hands of the clock
After a week of wondering why everyone else is doing their testimonial while we haven't even caught wind of it, we suddenly have the weekend to write a testimonial. i thought that the SGC was already blowing your own trumpet, but the testimonial blows that clean out of the water. oh well, i just have thicken my skin over the weekend and get over it.
i feel lethargic, all the time. even today, when i woke up at 10.30am because i was going to the assessment instead of school, i still end up feeling like my body is made of lead by 10pm. maybe it's because the entire assessment lasted for 4 hours without any interval. maybe i should have drank more free coffee and tea from the refreshments area. maybe i need to have a regular caffeine intake. i guess independence from commercially available stimulants is just another thing i have to give up for the sake of the A levels.
Next week will be the last week of school.
A month and a day later will be the A levels.
The hands reach out to claim me
Those wretched hands of the clock
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Assessment
Post-prelim, pre-A levels revision has begun, but i still feel that i haven't gotten myself running at that level of performance from before the prelims. maybe that short break i took wasn't short enough :/
anyway, tomorrow's the DSTA assessment/interview, and i have absolutely no idea what to expect. i honestly hope i can make it through, but this is my first interview and is therefore the most prone to screw-ups. i know that you're supposed to prepare beforehand and think about possible questions and other things like that, but in all realism there's no way my schedule these days could have allowed for that. of course, there's also the "assessment" that comes together with the "interview", and i don't know what to expect there either. will it be an overall IQ test? or a general knowledge quiz? perhaps even a combined science/maths test? WILL I HAVE TO DO BIOLOGY? D: like i what i said to the ignis IP kids: at my level of biology, a cell only has 3 components. in any case, i'll be skipping school for the interview, so i really hope it will be worth the lessons i'm going to miss. especially for econs, the one i desperately need help in. OHSHIT WHAT IF IT'S AN ECONS TEST.
on a music-related note, Abandon All Ships released their new album Geeving and it's awesome! :D and i don't care if technocore draw criticism both from the metal-hating danceclub music scene as well as the techno-loathing metalheads; the fact of the matter is that i think they're great, and that's all i care about when it comes to music. here's one of my favourites from the album, called Guardian Angel:
as bryan reminded me, after this week we'll only have about a month until the A levels.
anyway, tomorrow's the DSTA assessment/interview, and i have absolutely no idea what to expect. i honestly hope i can make it through, but this is my first interview and is therefore the most prone to screw-ups. i know that you're supposed to prepare beforehand and think about possible questions and other things like that, but in all realism there's no way my schedule these days could have allowed for that. of course, there's also the "assessment" that comes together with the "interview", and i don't know what to expect there either. will it be an overall IQ test? or a general knowledge quiz? perhaps even a combined science/maths test? WILL I HAVE TO DO BIOLOGY? D: like i what i said to the ignis IP kids: at my level of biology, a cell only has 3 components. in any case, i'll be skipping school for the interview, so i really hope it will be worth the lessons i'm going to miss. especially for econs, the one i desperately need help in. OHSHIT WHAT IF IT'S AN ECONS TEST.
on a music-related note, Abandon All Ships released their new album Geeving and it's awesome! :D and i don't care if technocore draw criticism both from the metal-hating danceclub music scene as well as the techno-loathing metalheads; the fact of the matter is that i think they're great, and that's all i care about when it comes to music. here's one of my favourites from the album, called Guardian Angel:
as bryan reminded me, after this week we'll only have about a month until the A levels.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Fish eye
I've been meaning to update, but somehow i never found the time to. quite indicative of what the immediate future will be like, sadly.
i don't know what i should be doing now. of course the easy thing to say is "prepare for A levels lah", but what exactly does that entail? i don't know how i should pace myself, whether or not i'm burning out too quickly or not quickly enough, and all those other minute details that we never expect to be troubled by when we were examining the scene from afar last year. nobody seems to know exactly what to do; some say take things slowly and pace yourself, some say go all out in the coming weeks, and many others have advice that lies somewhere between the two. tons of people have survived the A levels, but nobody can agree on any one optimal path we should take. i guess it really depends on the individual, and finding that path for yourself is just as important as actual academic ability.
"So Wei Shian, how are your grades? Do you have a full house?"
"Actually, it's four of a kind."
"Woah, so four As?"
"No."
as if i needed yet another reminder that i'm performing way below expectations.
at the end of last year, i was identified together with a a group of other people by the school to be one of those who have the potential to blaze through the A levels. now, all the high flyers are flying high; they're getting all the As and distinctions that the school believed they could get; they're living up to the expectations that everyone had of them. all except one.
ok, i just discovered this band called Last Chance To Reason. if i tried my best to describe their genre, i guess it would be something like progressive nintendocore. yes it sounds stupid, but they're really very unique. just have a listen:
Find more artists like Last Chance To Reason at MySpace Music
and also, i've decided to become more open-minded about Slipknot. i was initially put off by the fact that they have freakin' nine members in their band, which seemed like the same kind of overkill so commonly seen in k-pop groups. also, the whole image with the masks and the nine-point star kind of portrays a satanic metal vibe which doesn't outright put me off, but makes me hesitate before accepting them. still, i decided to re-listen to a few of their songs. i still came to the conclusion that most of their songs are not my type (i wouldn't say bad, just... not my type), but at least i found a good song that isn't Psychosocial. this one's called Before I Forget, and i really like that fast-paced guitar riff during the verses. it kind of mellows down to a more melodic chorus which was mildly disappointing for me, because i feel that a fast aggressive verse like that should end in a heavy chorus (except for Waking The Demon; somehow, Bullet For My Valentine managed to pull that off quite nicely). but anyway, here it is:
a literal translation of a chinese proverb: a fish eye disguised among pearls.
i don't know what i should be doing now. of course the easy thing to say is "prepare for A levels lah", but what exactly does that entail? i don't know how i should pace myself, whether or not i'm burning out too quickly or not quickly enough, and all those other minute details that we never expect to be troubled by when we were examining the scene from afar last year. nobody seems to know exactly what to do; some say take things slowly and pace yourself, some say go all out in the coming weeks, and many others have advice that lies somewhere between the two. tons of people have survived the A levels, but nobody can agree on any one optimal path we should take. i guess it really depends on the individual, and finding that path for yourself is just as important as actual academic ability.
"So Wei Shian, how are your grades? Do you have a full house?"
"Actually, it's four of a kind."
"Woah, so four As?"
"No."
as if i needed yet another reminder that i'm performing way below expectations.
at the end of last year, i was identified together with a a group of other people by the school to be one of those who have the potential to blaze through the A levels. now, all the high flyers are flying high; they're getting all the As and distinctions that the school believed they could get; they're living up to the expectations that everyone had of them. all except one.
ok, i just discovered this band called Last Chance To Reason. if i tried my best to describe their genre, i guess it would be something like progressive nintendocore. yes it sounds stupid, but they're really very unique. just have a listen:
Find more artists like Last Chance To Reason at MySpace Music
and also, i've decided to become more open-minded about Slipknot. i was initially put off by the fact that they have freakin' nine members in their band, which seemed like the same kind of overkill so commonly seen in k-pop groups. also, the whole image with the masks and the nine-point star kind of portrays a satanic metal vibe which doesn't outright put me off, but makes me hesitate before accepting them. still, i decided to re-listen to a few of their songs. i still came to the conclusion that most of their songs are not my type (i wouldn't say bad, just... not my type), but at least i found a good song that isn't Psychosocial. this one's called Before I Forget, and i really like that fast-paced guitar riff during the verses. it kind of mellows down to a more melodic chorus which was mildly disappointing for me, because i feel that a fast aggressive verse like that should end in a heavy chorus (except for Waking The Demon; somehow, Bullet For My Valentine managed to pull that off quite nicely). but anyway, here it is:
a literal translation of a chinese proverb: a fish eye disguised among pearls.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Signal flares
Got back econs today, and it was quite bad. well, there were some pinpricks of light, but on the whole i was losing large chunks of marks here and there for reasons i have not yet figured out, getting like 12 and 13 out of 25 for my essays... my original grade was D, but by some miraculous moderation i shot up two grades to a B. still, it's sitting in the back of my mind that in actual fact i'm only a D-grade student. what went wrong? i think i know what was going on, so did the breakdown occur between the mind and the pen?
i'm very afraid for econs and GP, the two subjects that require essay writing. for some reason i can never ensure that i convey my meaning into words. i'm really starting to see the appeal that mathematicians saw when they decided to create their own language using intuitive symbols, stripped down of the ambiguity that we find in other languages. of course this considerably undermines the literary depth of any written material (imagine a poem written entirely in mathematical symbols?), but really, sometimes the depth and ambiguity only lends itself to misunderstanding. when nearly every word and combination of words has multiple meanings, it can get hard to convey messages and ideas.
ok, i have digressed. the fact of the matter is that maths will never become the language of choice for essay-writing, so i gotta quit whining and start practicing. it's probably time to spam full essays for both GP and econs, which sounds incredibly exhausting but is unfortunately the only solution i can think of, short of putting essays under my pillow and hoping for diffusion. but it's just frustrating to have to put in so much effort, knowing full well that it's likely not going to pay off in a very visible way. it's like firing signal flares into the night sky and hoping that someone in the inky blackness saw your plea for help.
i'm very afraid for econs and GP, the two subjects that require essay writing. for some reason i can never ensure that i convey my meaning into words. i'm really starting to see the appeal that mathematicians saw when they decided to create their own language using intuitive symbols, stripped down of the ambiguity that we find in other languages. of course this considerably undermines the literary depth of any written material (imagine a poem written entirely in mathematical symbols?), but really, sometimes the depth and ambiguity only lends itself to misunderstanding. when nearly every word and combination of words has multiple meanings, it can get hard to convey messages and ideas.
ok, i have digressed. the fact of the matter is that maths will never become the language of choice for essay-writing, so i gotta quit whining and start practicing. it's probably time to spam full essays for both GP and econs, which sounds incredibly exhausting but is unfortunately the only solution i can think of, short of putting essays under my pillow and hoping for diffusion. but it's just frustrating to have to put in so much effort, knowing full well that it's likely not going to pay off in a very visible way. it's like firing signal flares into the night sky and hoping that someone in the inky blackness saw your plea for help.
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