Today was a really long day. i was already dead when it came to maths, but that was only halfway through the day. after school, the cohort had a mock GP paper 1 followed immediately by the checking of answers. we did the 2009 A level paper, and i was completely annihilated by it. i have no idea how i can even consider myself ready for the A levels given the kind of performance i put up for the test.
i feel much more irritable these few days. maybe it's due to the mounting pressure, i don't know, but i seem to have more pent-up rantings inside of me. oh well, as long as they don't start bubbling up and disturbing the smooth surface of the still lake, then i guess i'll just deal with it. i guess it's something we're all feeling nowadays, and the natural reaction is to strike out at the source of irritation; a rebellion of sorts. but then again, what is the point of rebellion if you have no cause to rebel for?
on a brighter note, i got into the final round of interviews for the DSTA scholarship! :D really excited, but at the same time really nervous. i have absolutely no idea what kind of research i should be doing to prepare for it: do i read up on singapore's defense strategy or learn about our latest defense technology? or do i just keep myself updated on weapons technology in general? the scary thing is that there are only 10 of us (at least for that day), so more than ever it feels like i'm alone on this path. am i the only NJCian applying for it at this point? i don't remember seeing any other NJCians at the assessment centre on friday, and the only two other people i know of who were invited to the assessment said that it wasn't their thing. well anyway, it's on thursday, so i'll be crossing my fingers till then. i really hope i can get this, because in all the uncertainty and turmoil of the A levels it would be really emotionally comforting for me to have some sort of a "safety net".
so anyway, on the topic of going crazy from stress, this is a song that's been stuck in my head the entire day. it's a song about a man locked up in an asylum who doesn't believe that he's insane. one of the best transitions from slow and peaceful to fast and heavy i've ever heard. so here's Welcome Home (Sanitarium):
