Just something random that happened yesterday: bryan called me out of the blue at night and said that he met Qiu'en working at Icekimo. i dunno why i was so happy when bryan was the one who met her, but i just was. for some reason, these moments of nostalgia, these chance meetings with ex-classmates from simpler times long gone, seem to mean so much more to me now. maybe it would be timely to have another 6D chalet? but the last one went so horribly... i think the problem is because we were primary 6 class, compared to 4A which was only a class until primary 4. because we were a class up till PSLE, there were many of us who went to the same school and formed cliques which became quite strong over the next 4 years. so when we finally had a chalet, we were too stuck in our comfortably familiar cliques to bother reaching out to our old classmates. for 4A however, we were split up before PSLE, so many of us went to seperate schools and were more willing to reconnect with old friends. well, that's my take on it anyway. in any case, i hope that eventually the 6D group will be able to come together as miraculously well as the 4A people.
it just hit me that school will be over very soon. im guessing that after my OP on 11 nov, i can pretty much say that my holidays have begun. common sense and student mentality are screaming at me to feel happy or relieved or excited, and yet i feel none of that. the first thing i realised was that there wont be hanging out with friends at the canteen, staying back after school and seeing who's also crazy enough to stay behind, talking cock about everything under the sun, for just about 2 months, and amazingly, i feel just that tinge of disappointment. of course there are things to look forward to, such as that long-awaited 4A gathering, but on the whole i'll spend my days once again rotting in the couch. i used to be content with such a sedentary lifestyle, but does that still hold true now? well, i guess luckily there will be a few more routines to punctuate the silence. hockey trainings will be quite frequent, plus ogl preparations will all be starting pretty soon if im not wrong. at least there will still be opportunities to get together with the hockey people plus the people becoming ogl (so far i know of jacob, j.gan, yicen, tzumi, seng, bryan, kaiwei, alicia, yeeni, did i miss anyone?), and maybe even meet a few new ppl along the way. it troubles me slightly that im going overseas in early dec though, cos i'll be missing hockey trainings as well as informal walk-in practices sessions. insider info from yicen says that the boys' choreography will be killer, so i have no idea how im gonna be able to catch up after missing more than a week's worth of practice.
speaking of holiday plans, wasnt there supposed to be some sort of cycling-related cip that j.tan signed a few of the 27s up for? i have absolutely no idea of anything about that right now. im not even sure if the darn thing is still on or not. date, time, venue, all these simple basic details i still have no inkling of. better start asking soon, or for all i know it'll just zip right past me.
time seems so transient to me now. a year always seems like a long time until it flies right past you, and then you realise that 365 days of your life just got spent. in another 365 days, we will all be preparing for our own A levels, then maybe grad night, and then that might possibly be the last of 09SH27. all the friends i've made over the past year, could they just as easily turn to dust in the same amount of time? all the good buddies i've met, how long can that warm glow of friendship possibly last before the cold of isolation finally snuffs it out? one year? two years? we, as a class, might never have the chance to meet again. i dont want it to end so easily, i dont want all those good times to yellow with the photographs, and yet it all seems so inevitable. it's even worse than ai tong or cat high, because now im painfully lucid and aware of this impending drifting apart before it even commences. is this wat they mean by friendships being priceless? i think im just beginning to fathom how very true it is. there is a very stark difference between being spoonfed these wise words from your parents and teachers, and actually being put in a situation where you cant help but utter in reverence: "they were right all along". people come and go in our lives, and some people may turn out to become friends, but every friend adds something unique and special to our lives, and having to lose a friend removes something that you are painfully aware will never be replaced again. and that, i believe, what im truly afraid of: not spiders, not fire, not heights, not death, but time; time and its indifference, its irreversibility, its permanence.
i know that this song is traditionally played at graduations and that im a year early, but the lyrics really resonate with what im feeling right now. besides, it's my blog and i can do anything i want :P
