H3 physics is finally going into the quantum physics phase, so at least i sort of know what's going on now, instead of during biophysics when i just swallowed technical bio terms while blindly nodding my head in false understanding. and the new lecturer is damn funny! XD his lecturing style is very frank and down-to-earth, and he has a way of reapeating the same phrase over and over and somehow make it sound funny. he has so many catchphrases: "You understand?", "That is high school concept, now I teach you university concept", "But that is a very simple and naive understanding of the idea". while telling us today that the fermi level of a doped semiconductor can be controlled, he kept saying "no, it doesn'talways mean that the fermi level will go up, but YOU can choose it to go up" that it sounded like a political rally. and also, now that the H2 physics lectures in school are also going into quantum physics, i'll finally be able to apply what i learn during H3 into my H2 work.
i've been screwing up a lot recently... whether it's the econs essay or both of the H3 tests, and even in simple things like handing in homework or doing tutorials. in the past it rarely bugged me because i'd simply think that im the one screwing up and it's my own problem if i die, but now i always get the feeling that there's someone else besides myself whom im letting down every time i close the book or put down the pen. i really wonder sometimes how things could have been different if i remained a nobody in NJC and if the school didnt make it so blindingly obvious that they expect me, count on me to do the school proud. is this good? when the source of motivation for education is external rather than internal, what use is it to the individual?
and this song is awesome! an old gem i discovered from A7X's first album, Sounding The Seventh Trumpet. listen out for the amazing drum solo at 1.30. here's Darkness Surrounding by A7X:
