It's that time of the year again, and by that I mean the end of it. Time to look back on 2010 before it slips through our fingers for good.
I went into 2010 with high spirits: 2009 had been good to me, so I assumed that the next couldn't be off by much. Well, it did start off quite well, with orientation being an absolute blast to have gone through, but that soon gave way to a harsher reality that would be the predominant atmosphere for the rest of the year. If I had to describe the year in one word, it would be "inadequacy". I started off the year pretty much already under scrutiny from everyone: fellow students, teachers, even the principal to a certain extent. I had to regain my footing after being thrown into the whole new world of SH2 while meeting their expectations as if nothing had changed from SH1, and it was all the more pressurising when all I could do was stumble around in the dark just like everyone else. More than ever, the thought that lingered continuously in my head was simply to fade back into obscurity, to be able to screw up without catching anyone's attention.
Still, it's during tough times like that when you really learn to cherish what you've got. I feel that I've gotten that much closer with my friends since last year, supporting each other through this truly trying year. All the stupid nonsense that we did together really helped make each day livable and even enjoyable. It was definitely a tough year, but I wouldn't change one bit of it if given the chance.
And this being my 18th year, I definitely felt the growing responsibilities that came with transitioning from an adolescent to an adult. When once I had my futures neatly planned out for me every step of the way, along the course of the year I increasingly had to take matters into my own hands. It's like I've become the captain of a ship I've boarded as a passenger for 18 years, and I've only just begun to comprehend the vastness of the ocean around me. This feeling of openness will definitely only grow stronger in future, a prospect which is both liberating and frightening to me. I still feel like I'm not ready to be an adult, but there's no option to defer life, and if there is one then I'm not aware of it.
I'm going into 2011 with memories, regrets, fears and hope
